Have We Normalised Separation Anxiety in Dogs?

Separation Anxiety: A Bee in My Bonnet!

In the last decade, we’ve seen a huge shift in how dogs are integrated into our homes and lives. With it, something concerning has become increasingly common — the normalisation of separation anxiety, and the quick acceptance of medication as the solution.

Separation anxiety is one of the most distressing behavioural issues a dog can experience — and in most cases, it is entirely preventable.

Twenty years ago, I rarely saw dogs with true separation anxiety. Why? Because dogs had more built-in independence. Owners naturally created boundaries — dogs spent time outside, had space away from the family, and learned how to rest and self-soothe without constant human presence and free access.

Today, in the spirit of “spoiling” and showing love, many owners unknowingly (and knowingly) create dependence. Dogs follow their humans from room to room, sleep in the bedroom (or bed), and have 24/7 access to their owners via doggy doors and open-plan homes. It feels affectionate — but it will often lead to over-attachment.

When dogs are never given the chance to be alone while we're home, they don’t learn that separation is safe or normal. Then, when the owner finally does leave — the dog panics. This anxiety can escalate into barking, whining, toileting indoors, destruction, or even self-harm.  There is no doubt that a dog is a social animal and wants to be around us but…. We go out!  Don’t strip them of their independence.

A visit to the vet often leads to a medication — Valium, Prozac, sedatives etc. But here’s the crucial truth:

Medication on its own will not solve separation anxiety.  A quick fix but not the solution!  Whilst it may need to be used in some cases to assist with the training, more often than not it can be phased out. 

Before dishing out the meds, veterinarians should be INSISTING that the owner is undertaking the necessary training with the dog too.

Without structured training, the root cause remains. Sadly, some owners are unwilling to do the work required. While they say they “love their dog,” they allow them to live in a state of ongoing stress — instead of implementing the practical support that will make all the difference.  Wanting the dog around all the time often reflects the owner’s needs — not what’s best for the dog’s mental well-being.

The reality is this:

It’s not healthy for dogs mentally to be with us every minute we’re home.

They need to learn independence while we’re home so they can feel safe and secure when we’re not.  In the TRUE name of love, they need to have time where they are separated from us WHEN WE ARE AT HOME. 

If we want well-adjusted, emotionally balanced dogs, we must be willing to teach them how to cope — not just medicate them and hope for the best.

SEPARATION ANXIETY IS A BEE IN MY BONNET— because it doesn’t have to be this way.  We can do better, and our dogs deserve it.

And before anyone jumps in to say, “My rescue dog came with separation anxiety” — I hear you. There are absolutely cases where this issue isn't the current owner’s fault.

E.g. Dogs with traumatic pasts, pups that were split prior to 8 weeks from mother and siblings, or unstable early environments often develop deep-seated anxiety. I completely understand — I live it too.

But while it may not be your fault, it is your responsibility to help your dog move forward.

You are their person — and they’re counting on.

If you’re worried your puppy or dog is showing signs of separation anxiety — or you want to prevent it before it escalates — we’re here to help. At Found by the Hound, our trainers can guide you through practical, proven separation anxiety training, including building independence, creating healthy boundaries at home, and teaching your dog that being alone is safe. Depending on your dog’s needs, we may recommend a private training session or a behavioural consultation so you have a clear plan that supports long-term change — for both you and your dog.